THREESOME SEX FANTASY: THE PSYCHOLOGY BEHIND WHY A MENAGE A TROIS IS SO ALLURING
Article by Lizette Borelli, Medical Daily
Comments by Charles Sulka
Updated 02-24-2023 2040 -0500
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A YouTube video on ‘things men should know about women’ explains that women are continually testing their mates. Women know that men are complicated; men can be distant at times, even bewildering. And of course men can, and often do, lie.
So women have worked out a subtle process of testing their mates in an effort to discern their true feelings. This grown-up version of ‘fifty questions’ is a never-ending process. Regrettably, many men are often unaware of the importance of this interactive re-evaluation process, or they may not be paying attention. Wrong answers can have serious consequences.
Some of the questions posed by women in this process are more obvious than others. Even the dullest man knows instinctively how to respond to the question, “Honey, do these pants make my butt look big?” But other questions are more subtle, and wrong answers can be fraught with peril.
Honesty is not always the best policy. Remember, women *expect* men to lie to them.
Correctly answering one question, in particular, is of paramount importance. Usually the right answer is not the truthful answer. This seemingly innocent question is, “Have you ever thought about a threesome? You know, another woman in bed with us?”
There is only one right answer to this question. The correct answer is, “No, honey. Why would I want to have sex with another woman when I have you.” This is the only thing the woman wants to hear, even if she knows her man is lying.
Knowing how and when to lie is regarded by women as a sign of maturity in men. Most men are lousy liars, not because they are stupid, but because they don’t recognize the importance of the question, and don’t make much of an effort to lie convincingly.
Women despise laziness in men; not making the effort to lie well is seen by women as being dismissive and disrespectful. If a man goes to the trouble to lie convincingly about this, the woman knows that he values their relationship enough to put some effort into coming up with the right answer (even if it is a lie) to what is in reality a trick question.
A bad lie evokes a bad reaction in women. Let’s face facts: a woman thinking to herself, “How stupid does he think I am?” hardly engenders respect and admiration. There can be no intimacy where there is no trust. All too many relationships that could have been saved — to everyone’s advantage, especially the children’s, who suffer most from broken families — have been doomed by a man’s inability to lie convincingly. This is why women view the ability to lie convincingly to be a sign of maturity in men.
Women recognize that personal security and even the safety of her and the children often rests on a man’s ability to bluff and lie. After all it is a jungle out there. A man who is fast on his feet and possesses a quick wit and a glib tongue will probably fare better in life than a dullard — especially a dullard who always tells the truth.
This is why women find con artists irresistible. Women are attracted to con artists … but not blowhards. Blowhards only fool themselves; they are too stupid to realize that everyone sees right through them.
Con artists are better equipped to prevail, to succeed in a corrupt world. Women are resigned to the fact that men are liars. Women find it reassuring if their man is a good liar, for that means he is likely to get ahead in a world filled with intrigue and deceit.
In many women’s eyes, it’s tolerable for a man to be a liar … so long as the man supports his family. After all, providing for their offspring is a woman’s highest concern. This is only natural. Somebody has to put concern for the children first. Women soon come to realize that the responsibility falls on them, and not the lying sonofabitch they made the mistake of falling in love with.
There is another reason why women are willing to put up with a lying, cheating husband. Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t. Paradoxically, men who are good liars often make the best lovers. It only makes sense, because the male sex drive is usually the reason for the man’s lies anyway.
It’s a compromise a lot of women are willing to make … they figure that the jerk is at least good for something. In the immortal words of Tammy Wynett’s hit song … “Stand by your man. After all, he’s only a man.”
Let’s face it: women know exactly what is going on in a man’s head. And they don’t like it one bit.
While this article is an excellent overview of the topic, it only hints at the real-world consequences of such activities. To put it in the simplest of terms, threesomes (and moresomes) will destroy a relationship. There are basic biological, sociological, and psychological realities that pretty much restrict sexual relationships to twosomes. This article explains some of these factors, showing some fundamental differences between men and women in their sexual mores.
Even in polygamous lifestyles, the liaisons are almost always ‘serial monogamous’ arrangements. Polygamous Muslims and Mormons still do it in private, with one partner at a time, behind closed doors.
What happens in these more complex experimental arrangements? The writer points out some of the emotional issues, but the reality is more complicated. In reality, the woman will find the sex with the other woman to be more exciting than sex with her man. Let’s face it, women make better lovers than men. Women know what turns other women on, while men, being self-absorbed, give little thought to pleasing their partners. Men would be shocked to learn the truth — that their mate’s fantasies aren’t about *them* any more. (!)
An equally unfortunate development is the jealousy, emotional confusion, and trauma from the woman’s witnessing the man’s intimacy with the other woman. Either of these scenarios can spell the end of the relationship and result in emotional turmoil and suffering for everyone (and especially any children who might be in the picture.) Even if things seem to be going well, and the wife doesn’t decide to leave her husband for another woman (it does happen!) there can still be undercurrents of jealousy and insecurity that destroy the relationship. Fantasies of forbidden fruit can become disruptive, an ongoing distraction that undermines the relationship. Things can quickly get out of hand. It is, as they say, a slippery slope.
Such activities are far more common among young people experimenting with casual sex, before they are committed to a long-term monogamous relationship. The threesome is not a natural family unit. Polyamorous relationships are almost never fulfilling or stable. Such arrangements are simply too complicated to form the basis of permanent familial relationships.
SO, guys, when your wife or girlfriend asks you if you ever think about a threesome with another woman, think before you speak. Keep your wits about you. You are correct if you suspect that this might be a trick question. The realty is, this is not your lucky day.
She is not hinting that this is something she wants to try. She is testing you. She most certainly does not want to hear the truth — that this is a fantasy of yours and that you think about it all the time.
Wrong answer (duh!) The woman will be thinking, “You had to tell me, didn’t you? You didn’t even have the decency to lie about it.”
The only correct answer is, “Of course not, honey ….” Best not to look her in the eye when you say you never think about other women. Women know about thee things.
When dealing with women, men should assume that everything is a test and that all questions are trick questions … and that honesty is not always the best policy. It’s called Life … and it is complicated.
(CHS 02-24-2023 2040 -0500)
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THREESOME SEX FANTASY: THE PSYCHOLOGY BEHIND WHY A MENAGE A TROIS IS SO ALLURING
Medical Daily
By Lizette Borreli
Jan 12, 2017 02:47 PM
TABLE OF CONTENTS
1.Sex And The Media: Threesomes
2.The Object Of Simultaneous Desire
3.Attitudes About Threesomes: Women Vs. Men
4.The Trouble With Threesomes
5.Should Threesomes Fantasies Just Stay Fantasies?
Why a threesome fantasy is common, and whether it should stay a fantasy, or manifest into a reality. Illustration courtesy of Lecia Bushak
Most men have fantasized about it, and most women have been propositioned for it: a threesome. A ménage à trois has appeal for several reasons, including the allure of being the center of sexual pleasure, while pleasing others at the same time. The forbidden turns into a night of double the pleasure, double the fun. But should the fantasy of a threesome become a reality?
There’s a lot of mystery surrounding the seductive triad because they’re sexy and alluring, yet dangerous and forbidden. We can imagine what they’ll be like, but we won’t truly know until we go there.
April Masini, relationship expert and author, believes society feels “regular intercourse” is tradition, and a threesome is a “lesser tradition that is not part of a healthy, long-term relationship” she told Medical Daily. These core beliefs will inform a person’s decision to either pursue the fantasy, or leave well enough alone.
Not all fantasies should be shared; if we’re in a relationship, and haven’t talked about the idea with a partner, it could be uncomfortable, awkward, and upsetting to add a “plus one” to our sexual rendezvous. There are risks and benefits for singles, as well.
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Read the complete article at:
https://www.medicaldaily.com/threesome-sex-fantasy-psychology-behind-why-menage-trois-so-alluring-408381